12 Mistakes to Avoid When Buying an Engagement Ring

Congratulations! You are about to embark on a major life event – a marriage proposal! The perfect engagement ring is a prerequisite for a proposal. With the wide variety of engagement rings available, many people will inevitably make certain mistakes when choosing an engagement ring. This article lists 12 mistakes to avoid when buying an engagement ring to help you make the better choice!

1. Not Knowing Your Partner’s Preferences in Advance

“The biggest mistake I see men make when buying a ring is: not asking their girlfriends what they want, or completely ignoring what they want.”

“My fiancé proposed to me with a ring I didn’t really like that he thought I did.”

“I said I didn’t like diamonds and his mum told him not to get one. Guess who got a diamond?”
—Reddit

I picked what I liked, so I got what I wanted. That’s easy to understand, but the big issue arises when you’re buying for someone else. It’s very important to at least know what they want. I know some people want to surprise their partner, but this is an item they will wear for the rest of their lives – it has to be right.

Want to surprise her? Observe her jewelry style preferences, or ask her BFF to gather intel on what type of engagement ring she likes. This will help you pick a ring she loves. Or you could propose a “temporary ring” and choose the engagement ring together after she says “yes.” If your proposal is public (she knows it’s coming), then just ask her what style she likes, down to the exact ring—respect her opinion!

2. Not Setting a Budget

Don’t buy an engagement ring that is beyond your financial means and end up with a huge debt. If you go online and search for “How much should I spend on an engagement ring?” You’ll find many answers, with the most common being 3 months’ salary. This answer is very general and won’t apply to everyone. There’s no law that dictates how much you should must spend on an engagement ring, it all depends on your personal finances.

Setting a budget not only helps you avoid debt, but it also allows you to research prices in advance and know what’s available within your budget. It also helps jewelers serve you better-without knowing your budget, they won’t know what options to recommend.

If your finances are good, you can afford a more expensive ring. If your finances aren’t ideal right now, that’s okay—choose a price range you can manage, and trust that your partner will understand. You can always upgrade the ring later when your financial situation improves! Remember, a happy marriage isn’t determined by the cost of a ring. Choose wisely and avoid unnecessary debt.

3. Not Knowing Your Partner’s Ring Size

Although jewelers can adjust ring sizes later, getting the right size from the start will save you resizing fees and make a great impression on your partner. An ill-fitting ring can make your girlfriend feel like you didn’t put enough thought into the proposal. Knowing your partner’s ring size is a prerequisite for the perfect proposal.

Want to surprise her but don’t know her size? Measure it discreetly while she’s unaware or asleep. Remember, don’t use a ruler directly, as it might give you away! Use any soft, flexible material to wrap around her finger, note the length, and then measure it. If she already wears rings, you can check the size of one of her existing ones.

4. Consider Only Diamond Rings

It’s undeniable that most people first think of diamond rings when talking about engagement rings. But what many don’t know is that historically, the first gemstones used in engagement rings were rubies and sapphires. Diamonds became a classic choice thanks to brilliant marketing. In the 15th century, diamonds were first used in engagement rings when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave a diamond ring to Mary of Burgundy, which marked the beginning of diamond engagement rings. In the 20th century, with the mining and marketing of diamonds, they became synonymous with engagement rings, reaching their peak thanks to intensive campaigns by De Beers.

Today, however, there are more options for engagement ring gemstones. Each one carries unique meanings, and many are more affordable than diamonds. If you do some research, you’ll find that more and more people are opting for moissanite or lab diamonds as alternatives to diamonds. These gems are ethically sourced and more budget-friendly. Other popular gemstones for engagement rings include morganite, emerald, alexandrite, and more. Ultimately, the decision should be based on your partner’s preferences.

5. Focus on Carat Weight Only

Do you think the only factor to consider for an engagement ring gemstone is carat weight? That’s a big mistake! Remember, carat weight does not equal size! Different cuts can make gemstones of the same carat weight appear differently in size, so cutting is also an important factor. In addition, the gemstone’s clarity and color are critical as well. Cut, clarity, color, and carat weight make up the 4 Cs of gemstones – standards for evaluating a gemstone’s quality. Color, clarity, and weight represent the gemstone’s inherent qualities, while a superior and appropriate cut can enhance its strengths.

Take white diamonds as an example. A good white diamond should have a near colorless grade (D, E, F) and a clarity grade of very very slightly included or better (VVS+). The larger the carat weight, the more valuable the diamond. As for the cut, you can choose according to your partner’s preferences. If she prefers a more brilliant gem, opt for a brilliant cut: round, oval, radiant, etc. If she appreciates a more clearer view of the gem’s interior, consider a step cut: emerald, asscher, rectangular cut, etc. Read about the most popular engagement ring cuts to discover the trending brilliant and step cuts.

Note: Most colored gemstones place more emphasis on color, while colorless gemstones place more emphasis on clarity. Certain colored gemstones known for their inclusions, such as moss agate, salt and pepper diamonds, and sunstone, require a more balanced evaluation of all qualities.

6. Not Considering the Durability of the Ring

Don’t just focus on the appearance of the ring, durability is crucial for an engagement ring that will be worn daily for a long time. How do you determine if the engagement ring you’re choosing is durable? Research the gemstone’s hardness, the metal, the setting, the shank, and the band’s width and thickness, especially the hardness of the gemstone and the width and thickness of the band.

Typically, gemstones with a hardness of 7.5 or higher are suitable for everyday wear. K gold is more durable than silver, and 14K gold is more durable than 18K. Bezel settings are generally more durable than prong settings. A band width of at least 1.6mm and thickness of at least 1.2mm is recommended, but the final dimensions should be tailored to the overall design of the ring and the wearer’s finger size.

“What if my partner loves opals, but opals are relatively soft. What should I do?” Don’t hesitate to purchase an opal engagement ring for her! Durability is important, but if your partner loves it, that’s what matters most! With careful wearing and proper care, an opal ring can remain beautiful for a long time. Plus, you can always choose to replace the gemstone periodically (many couples opt to replace the stone in their engagement ring over time—this is a common practice).

7. Big Brands Always Offer the Best Quality!

Here’s an interesting question: if you were buying an engagement ring, would you choose a big brand or a small one? Most people would still pick a big brand, assuming they offer more security. However, our research shows that more and more consumers are disappointed with big brands, feeling that their products are overpriced for the quality and the service is lackluster. The truth is, the high price of most big brands is due to brand markup. And since they have a large customer base, they often don’t put much effort or care into your ring, resulting in lower quality and service compared to many independent jewelers.

That being said, I’m not suggesting you should avoid big brands entirely. If you love a brand’s culture, by all means, pay for that premium. But if you’re looking for better value, small jewelers are often a superior choice. Today, small jewelers offer services and designs that rival big brands, often at more affordable prices. Of course, when choosing a small brand, do your research to ensure you select a reputable jeweler.

Note: If you’re not skilled at identifying gemstones, choose a jeweler that provides a professional certification from a recognized gemological institute!

8. Follow The Trend of Buying Popular Styles

“****’s Most Popular Engagement Ring Styles.” Have you ever searched for this in your browser? Fashion trends change quickly, and what’s popular this year may not be next year. Think timeless, not trendy, unless she has specifically told you what she wants.

9. Not Considered with Wedding Bands

This is something most people tend to overlook. Since most proposals are made by men, and in many countries, men don’t wear engagement rings, they often forget that women will eventually wear both the engagement ring and wedding ring together. Not all engagement rings are designed to sit flush with a straight wedding band, they either have a gap between them or require a curved/contoured band. If your partner loves a straight wedding band, be sure to consider this before purchasing! You should also think about how the metal color, gemstones, and design styles will coordinate.

Related Reading: Ring Stacking Guide

10. Not Considering The Comfort of Wear

Focusing too much on the “dream ring” without considering comfort can lead to overlooking what is practical for everyday life and her work. For example, if she’s a doctor who wears gloves, a high-set ring may not be ideal, even though it might look more brilliant. Many people don’t realize that prong settings can catch on things, they can scratch children, snag clothes, etc. (especially if the craftsmanship isn’t top-notch). Therefore, considering your partner’s daily life and work is essential in determining whether she can wear the ring comfortably daily.

11. Not Knowing The Jeweler’s After-sale Policies in Advance

Knowing the jeweler’s return and exchange and other after-sale policies in advance can better protect the purchase. Just in case, if you are not satisfied with the final product, you can return or exchange the ring. Don’t wait until a problem arises only to find out that the jeweler doesn’t offer certain services and has an unpleasant shopping experience.

12. Overdoing the Research

Yes. Sometimes too much research can actually make you more indecisive. That’s why it’s a good idea to be clear about what you want and only research the things you need, and don’t add to your worries by overdoing it.

Final Thoughts

After reading these 12 common mistakes when buying an engagement ring, I hope you’ll be able to choose a ring she’ll love and successfully propose!

MollyJewelryUS is a personal jewelry brand specializing in wedding jewelry. We uphold ethical and sustainable practices, striving to provide every bride with affordable, high-quality jewelry! Offer customization, IGI certification, and each customer enjoys a 30-day return policy and a 1-year warranty (you can send it back for repair or choose a nearby repair shop and get reimbursed for the repair invoice). We ensure every customer has a smooth shopping experience.